Quotes
FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, SEX and MARRIAGE
The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies; not our friends.
Margot Asquith
It is very easy to endure the difficulties of one’s enemies. It is the successes of one’s friends that are hard to bear.
Oscar Wilde
Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be that person’s option.
Anonymous
I blame my father for telling me about the birds and the bees. I was going steady with a woodpecker for two years.
Bob Hope
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce
Love is just a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the species.
Somerset Maugham
Absence makes the heart go wander.
Anonymous
One of the mysteries of human conduct is why adult men and women are ready to sign documents which they do not read, at the behest of salesmen they do not know, binding them to pay for articles they do not want, with money which they do not have.
Gerald Hurst
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
A lady is a woman who never shows her underwear unintentionally.
Lillian Day
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was “the man goes on top and the woman underneath”. For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
Joan Rivers
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s - that’s because she changes it more often.
Oliver Herford
Drying a widow’s tears is one of the most dangerous occupations known to man.
Dorothy Dix
Sexual intercourse is a grossly overrated pastime; the position is undignified, the pleasure momentary and the consequences utterly damnable.
Lord Chesterfield
I had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.
Patrick Murray
Making love to Marilyn Monroe was like kissing Hitler.
Tony Curtis
He kissed me as though he was trying to clear the drains.
Alida Baxter
Adultery? Why fool about with hamburger when you can have steak at home?
Paul Newman
Even if man could understand women he still wouldn’t believe it.
A. W. Brown
A woman is like a tea bag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
Nancy Reagan
She was a really bad-looking girl. Facially, she resembled Louis Armstrong’s voice.
Woody Allen
Divorce is painful. There’s an easy way to save yourself a lot of trouble. Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.
Pat Paulsen
My wife and I had words - but I never got to use mine.
Fibber McGee
Anybody who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
Groucho Marx
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